How It Works

You should know what the work involves before you decide to begin. We can talk through anything that is unclear.

How I Work

Tell me about something you want to change. We start there, with a moment from your life or work that we can look at together. I use six phases to give the work a direction. We agree on what each one needs to involve, whether you are working with me on your own or bringing a team. There is room to return to something we need to understand better.

Listen

Walk me through a recent moment when the problem showed up. What happened? What did you do? I ask questions so we have something specific to work with.

Agree on a purpose

We name what you want this engagement to do. That gives us something to return to when we are deciding where to spend our time.

Take an honest inventory

Bring examples from your week. We look at what gives you energy, what drains it, and what keeps happening. I love this part of the work: paying attention until we notice something we had missed.

Repair what needs attention

Sometimes we find harm or an obstacle that cannot be worked around. We talk about who is affected, what repair would require, and what each of us is responsible for doing. Then we follow through.

Share the ability to do the work

You try what you are learning where you will use it. With a team, that includes looking at who has the knowledge and authority to act, and what needs to change so others can take part.

Practice letting go

We make a plan for continuing and give you time to use it without me leading. I have work to do here, too. I need to step back so you can carry it forward.

I want you to leave with practice making decisions in the situations you actually face, and a way to keep going. You decide what comes next.

The Commitments

Before we work together, you should know what you can hold me to. These commitments guide the decisions I make about this practice.

The work comes first

I work with no more than ten clients at a time. Growing this practice has to serve the work we have agreed to do, and I will turn down growth that gets in the way of it.

Your decisions stay yours

I can help you look closely at a decision, ask a difficult question, or notice something you have passed over. Your conscience and your choices belong to you.

We begin with what you want to change

Tell me what you want to work on. We will talk about whether I can help and whether this is the right work for you.

We agree on the work after we understand the need

I bring tools and experience. We decide which ones are useful after we have spent time with what you are facing.

We talk about fees before we begin

This practice needs to pay its own way. We will discuss the fee and whether a sliding scale applies before you decide to begin.

You work with me

I am directly involved in the work we agree to do. You know who you are working with and who is responsible for following through.

Recommendations have to be earned

I want this practice to grow through people who have done the work recommending it to someone else. That starts with how I work with you.

You can tell me when I have it wrong

I will listen, check my understanding, and take responsibility for what I need to change. I am learning in this relationship, too.

You can bring these commitments into our conversations, including when I am not living up to one. They are here for you to use as you decide whether this work fits.

The Principles

These six principles help me pay attention to how we are working together. Each asks something of me that you should be able to recognize in the work. The results described here are things we work toward. We need to look at what is actually happening, and keep asking whether the work is doing what we agreed it should.

relational

/ ri-LAY-shuh-nuhl / · adjective

  1. working through a relationship
  2. taking responsibility for how we work together

Synonymconnected

I have worked with the questions behind Distributed and Solidarity for years. Naming them helps me be clearer about what I am responsible for: sharing the ability to act and staying involved when repair is needed. You can ask how any of these principles is showing up in our work.

What to Expect

You should know what the work involves before you decide to begin. We can talk through anything that is unclear.

Bring a problem that keeps coming back. We will look at a recent time it happened, and you will choose a different response to try. When we talk again, we will look at what happened. What helped? What needs another try? You have that experience to draw on the next time.

With a team, we look at what each person brings to a decision and what they need in order to take part. That includes being clear about who can decide. Then we practice carrying the decision through the work you share.

In individual coaching, we look for an ability you want to develop and a place in your day to use it. The small decisions count. They give us something real to return to when we meet.

We also work on how you will maintain what you are building. Your circumstances will change. I want you to have experience adjusting the work yourself, so you can keep what is useful and change what no longer helps.

Use this account to consider what you need from the work. Bring the questions you still have. You choose whether to begin and what to keep working on.

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